Even Surgery Can’t Save Some People

Desperate Scousewives plastic surgeryLiverpudlian footballer Joey Barton is the latest to speak out against the reality TV show Desperate Scousewives. Speaking on Twitter, Barton slammed the E4 show by stating that many of the cast aren’t even proper Scousers. We’d be inclined to agree; in fact we wonder if they’re even human.Barton’s not the first to squirm in horror at the show. Liverpudlians in their droves have been excoriating the cast online. Holly Johnson, Frankie Goes to Hollywood singer, said she felt ‘ashamed’ by the programme.
Denise Fergus, mother of the murdered toddler James Bulger, posted ‘I can’t believe I’m still watching this.’ Sunderland footballer David Meyler said it was ‘absolutely horrific,’ and Atomic Kitten star Jenny Frost stated that the cast were ‘idiots!’Still, none were quite as outspoken as Barton, who stated that ‘all the women/creatures look like the bride of Frankenstein crossed with an Oompalumpa.’ He continued to label the cast as ‘materialistic fame-hungry cretins’ and ‘monosyllabic subordinate chimpanzees.’

Secret Surgery would have to concur with this sentiment; it is indeed difficult to view the cast as anything other than troglodytes.

What happened to the Liverpool we know and love? Where is the musical legacy and cultural heritage? Did the real Scousers, renowned as some of the friendliest people in the country, not warrant the attention of the nation?

Apparently not. Apparently we’d rather watch Chloe Cummings wash her orange hands with pure bleach and enjoy the application of black marker pen to her face, in a bid to create those trademark ‘Scouse eyebrows’?

Alas, what was intended as humorous programming is in fact painfully pointless viewing. And in more ways than one. In one episode, Coleen Rooney wins the Big Style Award, but is too busy to turn up and enjoy her trashy acclaim. When events like that are the pinnacle of a show, you realise that the human race is doomed.

On the plus side, Desperate Scousewives certainly makes you feel better about your own appearance and lifestyle.

And if you ever need inspiration for that bride of Frankenstein costume, you’ve got a damn fine point of reference.

visit www.SecretSurgery.co.uk or call 0843 289 4 982 or email info@secretsurgery.co.uk

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