Lilo until you’ve got your teeth sorted, Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Bad Teeth Photo
Lindsay Lohan

Oh Lindsay Lohan, will you ever actually learn? Committing a crime, receiving community service and not seeing the punishment through is one thing; but please would you look after your teeth?Linday’s recent red carpet appearance has been the talk of the blogosphere and gossip mags. Not because she’s fallen over drunk again or haphazardly flashed her pants to the paps, no; it’s because her smile can best be described as ‘disturbing’. Decayed, yellowed and chipped, her not-so pearly whites spoke volumes about the goings on in her private life, making the troubled actress appear much older than 25.

Her publicist was less than forthcoming when pressed by the media as to the state of the star’s grill: ‘With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I’m going to comment on Lindsay’s teeth.’ Quite right too, but when the whole world thinks she looks like a rampant vagrant, surely something needs to be done to recover the actress’s former glory.

The cause of the dental deterioration is evident, with drugs and alcohol the two main culprits; Lohan’s penchant for such substances is hardly insider knowledge.  Taking drugs is likely to upset a dental hygiene routine, and – depending on the substance taken – teeth can also be chipped, rotten or discoloured. Add a dash too much alcohol to your cocktail of drugs, and you have some pretty tough stains that Mr Muscle would shrug shoulders at.

So how will Lindsay get those beaming gnashers back? Well, assuming she stops stealing gold necklaces and actually pursues her career as an actress, dental veneers and whitening systems are the first and most likely option. Lohan may, however, have to undergo dental implants if the damage proves to be worse than the initial prognosis would suggest.

The better you look after your teeth, the less work you’ll ever need to have done; it’s that simple/ Whilst we don’t all necessarily need or want Hollywood smiles, it’s good to know that Lilo should be able to beam for the cameras once again: let’s just hope it’s not a mugshot next time.

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